"This is just who I am" - common thoughts that are blocking your own healing.

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How long have you been stuck in a cycle or self-defeating pattern, wanting nothing more than to have new outcomes, just to show up to yourself with a boring old "well that's just who I am"? And then repeat said pattern 100 more times. Enough of that! If this were the case - therapists would not have jobs & trust me - there's plenty of us.

Buttt spoiler alert: therapists are not magicians.

I know, let down. We are not in the business of quick fixes, although that's what most people want. An easy answer to lifelong narratives and suffering. We often find people swing between two spectrums when they come into therapy: "this is just who I am" or "I need to fix this now". In short - complete defeat or in need of instant gratification.

This juxtaposition is so common in our society. Cling to pleasure or run frantically from pain.

Other common thoughts that block us from healing:

- I have always been this way

- Nothing will ever change

- Nobody cares anyway

- What can help me feel better immediately?

- People don't change

I could go on..

The common theme here is that holding onto this belief keeps you stuck. But it feels comfortable. Not outwardly - but internally. Your body feels safer sticking to old narratives - even if they suck - than it does even entertaining the possibility that something better could be true.

Fear of the unknown stops SO MANY people from healing.

Therapy does not take away pain that has already occurred. But it does help you rewrite the narrative of how you respond every day of your future. Through trust building - a therapist can help you tolerate the discomfort of the unknown long enough to realize that there just may be something on the other side of your negative self-talk pity party.

Second spoil alert: people can change.

Opening up to the idea that you can transform is healing in itself. What you believe opens new doors for what you can become. Things you can work on in therapy: your attitude, your reactions, your intentions, your values, your self-worth - the list goes on. As you work through these old beliefs you begin to create new ones. Just like practicing any new skill.

As you do the work needed to heal - try on some of these beliefs for fun instead:

- I am capable of transformation

- My past does not define my future

- Out of my comfort zone lies my growth

- I am strong, I am capable

- I am open to growth